food fight!
You may have noticed that it’s been a while since I posted in my intuitive eating series. There’s a very good reason for that. Principle #3, Make Peace with Food, is a huge struggle for me.
For those of you that have been reading my blog for some time, you may have noticed that all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I started talking about chips. That’s because they’ve been on my *MUST NEVER BUY* list for about a decade. (I find it very ironic to think that, about a decade ago, when I made that ruling and decided chips were evil in a bag, I was about ten pounds lighter than I am right now… hmmm….) So I had no reason to mention them. And then I started investigating inuitive eating…
Principle #3 calls for you to Make Peace with Food. In the authors‘ words, Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. There are no taboo foods. There are healthier options of course, but no food is off limits. When you deny yourself a particular food, you tend to end up craving it. And when you do finally give in, you over-indulge. Making peace with food means you give no emotional importance to your taboo food. To any food. You aren’t good because you choose an apple; you’re not bad because you choose the chocolate.
Okay, I get that, in theory. But in practice…? Scary. As. Hell. Because you don’t simply nod and exclaim, you’re right! Chocolate is just another choice! It has no power over me! Pass me an apple. No. You have to face that particular food and show yourself that it, indeed, has no power over you. You have to try it. Buy it. Invite it into your life.
In keeping with this idea, two weeks ago I bought a bag of chips. Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar. Used to be my favorite. It sat in my cupboard for a few days, where I kept contemplating it. When I finally opened it, I ate the whole bag. On auto-pilot. Evaluation didn’t happen until afterward. It wasn’t the great thrill I’d built up in my mind. I felt slightly sick, not satiated. Certainly not pleased with myself. But, I did realize that I don’t like them well enough to keep them in the house. Somehow in the last decade or so I’d build S&V chips up in my mind to be something they’re not.
I don’t feel for a second that I’ve made peace with them. I wish I’d stopped part way through to think of what I was doing, and evaluate how it tasted? was it worth it? Instead, I just realized I don’t want them in my life, period. They were too…. something. Too salty. Too oily. Too… not what my tastes are now. 27 year old me had pretty limited tastes. So I can’t really say I’ve made peace. Rather, I’ve reached a truce with them. You stay in your aisle of the grocery store, I’ll stick to the outer aisles.
But, I DO think the experience has been helpful. I wonder how many other things I’m *afraid* to let myself eat that have no real power over me now? How many things am I craving, but denying myself, that I wouldn’t want anyway?
